really appreciate you.

Hey hey you you, thanks for reading this very post, I really appreciate your openness and thank you thank you thank you.!

I am fianlly starting to learn to appreciate the little things around me, even the littlest which hopefully isn't too late to start.

I seriously don't know what to blog about... let me just conclude my 2009, my suckiest year thank you. Yes, 2009 sucks to the core for ME. Reason being for all the cryings, mournings, fake smilings, unnatural friendliness, extreme inactiveness and most importantly super selfishness. I blame a lot of these to my surroundings yes, I begin to hate a lot of things. Getting a good partner (as in the person sitting beside you) is very significant for she can change your entire personality. Who I used to be is changing, and now, I am trying to push it back to who I am supposed to be. The people around you influence you A LOT. Nearing to someone who's always complaining, it's just making yourself like her, always blaming and not 检讨ing. The type of school you get into also affects you. Leaving my dear old Chinese cultureful school makes me uneasy in terms of communication, declining of my own Chinese standard. Leaving your dear old friends change you. In fact, most of these cases change you to the negative side rather than the positive side. You might think that you are doing all good for yourself but in fact you are not. It's the kind of people who will truly motivate you who will make you shine. Now, I am losing these lovely people. And I hate to lose them. These wonderful darlings.

Yet, of all these around me which I had blamed on into turning my life upside down, I myself can control on my own if I had not been so dependent on those factors. ME. I can search for those whom I can be with. I can accept the school I am in and strive on my own. Can't I? All these problems were created because of ME myself simply refusing to get a sense of life.

I hope my soul will return. I hope I won't remain as sucky as I had been this year. I hope someone, you can understand and help me. I wish I won't say that I wished that I never existed. I hope... I hope... I hope... I can be ME again.

p.s. sisters can't be friends.